What a ride

Yes, well I do realise that my time in New Zealand is over half over without an update and I know you are all biting your fingernails wondering what the heck is going on (ha) but seriously guys you just need to chill out. That's what I'm doing and I know it is a clever pun because it is winter down here and I am about to go skiing (boarding rather) on the sweet ass southern alps but no need to get too worked up. Yes NZ is a kick arse destination. Yes, it is everything an outdoor enthusiast such as myself would love. And yes, there are plenty of sheep for everyone. The bloody poms really get a kick out of making fun of Kiwis about their sheep and the habits they have with sheep. Rightio. Onward Ho.

Well I have made it to Queenstown which is central southern south island and supposedly every adrenaline junkie's dream. It is the home of bungy (not bungee I learned since those are what you use to tie stuff to your car with) and they have jet boats, skiing, paragliding, luging, and umm other cool stuff to do. I'm at the butterfli lodge and they also apparently use smoke signal internet but that's cool because I figure I am just writing so it will be ok. The Kiwi's are great and I have finally given in to the temptation of meat pies and I must say that they are quite nice but you know they are horrid for you. Ahh well I guess I will find out tomorrow when I weigh in to do my next bungy. Yes, I will jump from a cable car and freefall for 134 meters or 9 seconds of free fall. I don't know if I will survive but if I don't you guys divvy my stuff up according to how much you think I like you. Now a little run down of the past 2-3 weeks in the land of Mordor and Hobbits and all that kinda funky stuff.

Auckland - Seems like cities are the same everywhere and although I didn't hang out here at all I have heard from Americans and other nationalities alike that this is a city that wants an identity but has nothing to go on. What they do have is more boats per capita than anywhere else and 2 harbours to Sydney's 1 and being spread out (at least as much as Jacksonville, America's largest city (land wise)). So yeah got out of here quickly on the bus south. Didn't know what to expect but figured when in NZ do as the Kiwis do and peck the ground. Kiwis are strange birds (?) for they have whiskers and their eggs are as big as their bodies. Hmm.

Hot Water Beach - Luckily we hit the tides right here and found some shovels to dig in the sand. No not for sand castles silly but to create our own hot tubs. As long as it is low tide you can just dig a foot or two under the sand and hot water comes up. It's nearly boiling because of all the geothermal activity in the area so you mix it with a little sea water and have yourself a relaxing little bath. Quite nice until you get out and see that shrinkage is real and realize that you aren't on a beach in tropical north Queensland anymore.

Whitianga - Had some $5NZ fish and chips with a Monteith's Black and was in heaven. The beer is actually beer here instead of the Coors Light style stuff they call beer in Oz. Score one for the Kiwis. There is quite a rivalry you know since Aussie considers NZ another state and NZ despises this and them.

Hobbiton - AKA Matamata I think. Yeah I've been there I'm that cool and got a picture to prove it. All I really did here was pee and have a long black which I have finally discovered is the same as an Americano or espresso with hot water. Yee ha I have my coffee back although I mostly drink green tea now.

Rotorua and the Redwood Forest - Rotorua is the center of NZ's volcanic activity. It's a quiet little town with mud bubble things and geysers and stuff like Yellowstone. Smells like sulfur or rotten eggs whichever you are more familiar with and I decided that I had seen enough of that kind of stuff although I heard the local hoods hung out in the park with the thermal activity at night. I thought I might go see what kind of trouble they cause down here but thought better of it and went to see Star Wars 3 instead. Something about a Sith I didn't get it. During the day and before the rain that would last the next 4 days I found that right here in Rotorua they had planted hundreds of kinds of trees in the early 1900's to see which suited NZ since nothing is native here. All they have are birds and one lizard. Everything else imported. Yeah so they have California Redwoods as big as the ones in Cali and I went on a 12k walk in about 2.5 hours. This got me geared up for all the hiking I have been doing since. Very nice walk and I would recommend it over a $25 thermal park any day. They do have a world class spa here from the hot pools if that is your thing. Also our hostel had two naturally heated pools so you could choose the temperature that better suited you.

Waitomo Caves - Almost all the way back over to the west coast we visit the largest cave system in NZ good stuff and the boys on the bus and I decide to do the blackwater rafting. Since it is raining and has been for awhile the water levels are up and the cave is rockin. We get fully decked in 7 mil wetsuits and find a nice innertube to float the things. Turns out the guide chick is from Alabama. First southerner I have run into since I have been away. We don't want to leave the South dammit. Yeah this is a cool little journey through the caves and there are glow worms on the roof of the cave which we find out are maggots who burn their own excrement to trap food from some kind of string. Wacky wild stuff and the Canadian cooked us some fettucini alfredo with chicken for dinner. Smiley our bus driver added some sauteed bacon wrapped mussels for a nice appetizer. I think I am eating better than I did when I cooked for myself. Also got a bagel and tomato soup with the cold tubing adventure and a nice shower which was worth the entire $70 that I paid for the thing. We did get to jump off of 10m cliffs in pitch black onto our tubes though so I suppose that was worth it and the other leader guy's rendition of bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah.

Taupo - Rain. Sleep. Eat. Drink. Big crater lake like in Oregon with tons of Trout that I was going to go fly fish for but the days here sucked. Cheapest sky diving in the world FYI. Going to do the Tongariro Crossing, a hike with killer views of volcanoes and shit but the like I said rain loves itself.

Trout Farm - Worst and coldest stop ever.

Taranaki Falls Walk - In Tongariro National Park NZ's first world heritage site we did a walk in the snow for a couple of hours to see some falls that were in LOTR. Good walk but made me wonder why I left the warmth of Aussie for this. Also made me wonder why I would ever want to leave the South. Yeah boy. Also saw the little falls where Golom catches the fish and beats it on the rock till it's dead. Mordor is also in the park. I guess you now see why I came to NZ I am one of those rings freaks.

Rangitikei River - Or River Valley (or River Anduin in LOTR) as it's known to the locals. Of which there are none. They built a bloody golf course here for some reason. But it is a hell of a river and with all the rain it is barely legal to get on. One below flood stage. Good for us. Killer white water rafting with probably about 8 class V rapids and a lot of smaller ones. Good cliff jumping into a river which seems colder than ice. I don't think that anyone living could feel toes or fingers after this trip. Who cares about money yah know. All I eat is pasta anyway.

Wellington - NZ capital and another city. One day here is enough although I had some nice Thai Squid. Went to Te Papa (Our Place in Maori) a nice national museum that is a little full of itself for only having a 150 year history. You know how proud America is of our 200+ years. The Americans I have met and the people in general have been easier to relate to for me. Good folks down here especially in winter I have been told.

Ferry ride to South Island - Some random classic Irish band was on the boat which was cool and somehow it took 4 hours to go 17k. I walk faster than this.

Nelson - This is where true hostels were discovered. Shortbread cottage with free shortbread and a nice homey atmosphere slept 13 people and was just the ticket to get away from the English and Irish I had been hanging out with. Planning on doing the Abel Tasman track here so I needed a good night's sleep and free coffee to get me revved up in the morn. Wanted to stay at Tramper's Rest hostel with only 8 beds but it was full somehow. They did have an avocado tree though.

Abel Tasman - Four days of bliss and hell. 95k in three and a half days doesn't seem too bad and after the first day of 20k I still saw no problem. The next days were rough but the terrain beautiful. Made several crossings that could only be done at low tide and still had to take my stinking shoes off every time. Tried to lighten the pack but 4 days of food is quite a bit even without a stove. See my fuel bottle was confiscated in Brisbane. Yeah it might blow up even without fuel or a top on it. Ridiculous. Oh yeah a spoon is illegal too. Tramped on beaches, over rocks, through seal colonies, and up to 1100m from sea level. I stayed in huts so no tent but also no firewood and no torch so I was going to bed and waking up with the sun. Good experience and good to get out in it after being around people so much. Met some cool kids out there from England, Aussie, US, and Israel. And one Kiwi family out for the Queen's Birthday weekend. Second and Third day were completely hellish. With near 30k a day and on the third going almost straight up mountains for most of the day. Well worth it for the cup of coffee and hot meal at the end.

Nelson Lakes - First real look at snow except that which was around the hut on top of the mountain which I got to view from the toilet (drop pot). Stunning mountains and first taste of what this south island was all about.

West Coast - This is where the hicks of NZ are. They make fun of mullets here too and the people do nothing but shoot animals and live in their backcountry cabins. I dunno. Punakaiki was cool with blowholes that shoot up water from the waves and limestone formations that look like stacks of pancakes which are unexplainable by science and not seen anywhere else in the world. Lake Mahinapua is where we stay and offered a great sunset and the Poo Pub with Les this 80 year old teenager who runs the place and gets everyone wasted. Everyone dressed up in Rugby gear and some people threw up. Boring.

Down to Franz - More rain and planning the Copland Track. Franz Josef was an explorer so they named a glacier after him. Seems about right. Watched some movies and ate some yummy free soup for dinner. Went to Fox Glacier a day later.

Fox - Glacier walking is the coolest thing around (ha gotcha again). Amazing views and walking with crampons knowing you could fall down crevasses and stuff is nuts. A full day on the glacier is plenty and I was quite cool by the time I went down. Saw some cool calving in of a cave and meeting other Americans eating peanut butter made me feel at home again.

Copland Track - 23k south of Fox lies the Copland track which leads across the Copland pass accessible only by pro mountaineers and wackos. I only did the first 17k up to some hot pools. Easy track with stunning views. About 8 major river crossings and 100 small ones which are smaller but great fun. I think I split my shin somewhere along the way. Best night in NZ up there with the stars and the 50 degree hot pools. The Christchurch U Tramping Club was there too and felt sorry for me as well as this dude called Milan. Again no stove and I was the "sandwich guy" since all I brought was a loaf of bread, peanut butter, and a sleeping bag. That's traveling light. Saw tons of shooting stars and other wild stuff. Made the 17k out in 3.5 hours. Thought that was pretty cool.

On to Wanaka and Queenstown where I am now. Gonna go to Milford Sound, ski, see penguins and then head back to the beach in Fiji. Rough life I know. But just you wait...