Dingo

Finally another chance to experience the "true" Australia. Yes, I am on a cattle station somewhere between 200-300k inland and just here on a stopover before heading to Airlie Beach and a sailing adventure on the Whitsunday islands. Our first bus driver told us that Dingo was a whicket time and we should certainly try to go there if at all possible. The crew that i am travelling with decided to arrange schedules to make this happen. You see because of the previously mentioned takeover of Oz Experience all of the busses have been hell to get on and we have to spend 20 minutes on hold every time we have a question or want to book a bus. Pain in the arse, that is for sure. Anyway after the 2nd of May there was to be a change in the schedule and the buses would be going to Kroombit another cattle station but one with a YHA hostel and the finer things in life that go along with that (cutlery, cleanliness, that's about it). Well when we pulled into Dingo about sunset i decided to camp and watch the sunset. This place strangely resembles Nebraska and the sunsets that are seen on the open plains with plenty of dust probably anywhere in the world. They get 13 days of rain here a year on average. Yeah so for $17 i camp and get a full BBQ dinner. Not too shabby. They but up Daisy (a nice Brahma i was to learn) for our dinner and she was tasty. First steak(s) i have had in quite some time. Used to eating peanut butter, pasta, and anything else cheap and quick. I do, on the rare occasion, make a nice dinner but you really need at least 3-4 people participating to make it worth cooking. So we hung out and snuck a few of our beers from 1770 since this place is licensed even though the cowboy bloke who jumped on the bus said there were absolutely no rules. There was a northbound and southbound bus there that night and we were to have competitions and dance offs and sheet like that.

Dinner was super with seconds and dessert. Yum.

That night got a little nutty under the stars with all the typical backpacker bar music going on all night long. I woke up at one point to 'Burn' by Usher playing at about 4am. So think cheesy American party songs and you have got the music pinned. For example the guys who work there had a dance routine to the Bloodhound Gang song 'Discovery Channel'. I think that is what it is called anyway. I think these Jackaroos have been on the farm too long and their only touch with reality is backpackers, most of which are from countries with no style or touch with reality themselves. If you try to figure out what is going on in the world or what is popular from the group i am travelling with you would be sorely mistaken. What i am trying to say is that these guys would have done fine in 1999 because that's where they think they are. Isolation. Chicks dig it.

The night wore on and most of the activities ended up being UK vs Rest of World. We competed in tug of war, dance offs, fashion shows, music trivia, and drinking contests all of which Rest of World easily won. Another fun activity they do is beginning line dancing. We learned like crazy but i can never catch on so i ended up having my own ho down think Tanner/Carse Dixieland Delight days. Good fun and they even played Cotton Eyed Joe my favorite techno country song. The other big part of the night is when they announced the fashion show but this was to be a crossdressing fashion show and there were plenty of clothes on the porch. We all dressed up as very cute girls. I had on a long dressing coat, pink pleated skirt, and sequined top. I didn't win because the cowboys were just trying to hook up with the chicks so they gave them all the free drinks. Or that is at least what i have been telling myself. Had a nice laugh and went to sleep under the infinitillions of stars that were visible. No constellations i knew except Scorpio though. Kind of a bummer but i was out of it. Good to sleep in the tent.

Next day we had a cattle station tour hosted by Rich one of the main workers there and i blagged onto that puppy for free. We learned things like: a Brahma bull's testicles should be 42.5cm in circumference, that he worked on a station in NT where he didn't see a girl for 24 months 8 days and 3 hours or taken a shower for 32 days or eaten baked beans with all meals for over 4 months, that the station had been sold for $13M and that's why Oz wasn't coming anymore, that he has a 19 year old Swedish girlfriend and he is 34 (awfully proud of that one), that he kills all dingoes and snakes, and on and on. What we did get out of the tour was the ability to shoot our clothes with a shotgun (i did not participate due to the fact i only have 4 shirts and 2 pairs of shorts), learning to crack a bullwhip (i ruled at it, of course), and eating some kind of bread that tastes like cornbread and tea from a gum tree. Good times. We saw one bull so irate that he wouldn't let any of his 300 ladies have a drink of water. Doesn't seem right since all he does is shag 15 times a day. Dad that cattle ranch is sounding better all the time.